Belly Rub Fanatics Gifts

'This is the place I was telling you about.'

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"I told you, I can’t scratch your belly right now."

The First Domesticated Dog: "Can you compete with a free life time supply of tummy rubs? . . . Well?. . . Yeah, I didn't think so."

"They rubbed my tummy, chief- I told them everything."

"Belly rubs are a gateway activity that leads to chasing bunnies and fetching frisbees."

'Will work for tummy rub.'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

'Sorry I'm late - I stopped off for a beer and a back rub.'

"The bad news is, no walk. The good news is, unlimited belly rubs, chase around the dining room table, salmon for dinner, and you're on my bed tonight."

'Sure, it's an improvement. But I guess we'll need to get to the airport a lot earlier from now on...'

"Please excuse him...interns always worry patients don't think they're real doctors!"

Welcome to Umbilicoplasty aesthetic surgery

"And if this prescription doesn't work, see if you can get someone to rub your belly. That always make me feel better."

"Are you coming in, it's lovely and warm?"

'Sorry I had the liposuction machine on blow instead of suck.'

Surgery.

'Freddy Kameahmeah, uncrowned king of Hula dancers. His hoop hasn't seen the ground in six months.'

Stomach Fishing.

National Belly Button Society: Innies and Outies.

She's gone - you can stop holding it in.

Dogs enter lottery for belly rubs.

'You've had your tongue, ears, nose and naval pierced. Now I think it's time you went to a therapist and had your psychological armor pierced.'

Linda mad a killing during slow-moving commuter traffic.

'Inny' and 'Outy' trays in the Dept. of Belly Buttons

"Thanks for the walks, tasty treats and rubbing my belly with vigor. I could only love you more if you made my food dish much bigger."

Belly Dancing School

Naval Institute. Innies. Outies.

Well, I didn

"… Now a little to the left … that's it, honey, nice … mmm … OK, now get lost."

'Gather round everyone! Bob has a new rug and we're going to see how long it takes him to get out of it!'

Belly button night. Outies only.