Back Care Enthusiasts Gifts

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Daddy, you have to flatten this curve."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

'GM apples prevent Migraine'

"He looks so much like his dad."

"It's just a hunch, but you spend a lot time at your computer, don't you?"

'You've a slipped disc in your back and a slipped everything in your front.'

"Graham loved his creature comforts."

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'What, They're comfortable.'

'How could I have missed these? I took a multivitamin.'

'Like it? It's my digital vest, it calculates calories, portions and price per pound!'

'I don't want you to give up eating entirely -- just the food part.'

Advanced Zen for Couch Potatoes: Earl becomes One with his Lazy-Boy.

"Croissants? Donuts? Chocolate? Good price, madame! Good price!"

'Yes, yes, yes, now seriously, what can we do to improve our health?'

Eskimo to one with huge whale: 'You're sure it's all good cholesterol?'

Stay away from Pigs.

"You don't need a doctor to look at your throat, you need a CHOIRPRACTOR."

"GP or chemist? To be on the safe side let's go to A and E."

Woman walking a pelvis on a lead.

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"You should have purchased the extended warranty."

'Medical researcher have isolated the gene that makes us want to discuss our ailments with anyone we meet.'

Anti-natal clinic - If you don't want to be pregnant.

God: 'Man has dominion over fish...beasts...and germs have dominion over man.'

"My goodness, your back is really knotted up this morning, isn't it?"

TV announcement: 'The Consumer Product Safety Commission today announced the recall of all E-Z Reclino-Mat chairs sold between ...'

Married people live longer

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

"Nice try, buy candy corn is not a vegetable."