Bachelordom Gifts

'What's the old saying...'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

'...Please stop the...'

How witness protection really works...

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

The Bachelor Chef TV Show. First, remove last night's pizza from the fridge. Then eat cold for breakfast. Shoot! 29 minutes left to kill.

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

". . . and do you, John, give up your smug air of bemused detachment for the demands of marriage?"

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

Training the Bride's Train Bearers

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Bachelor gettin giddy from dancing

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

'I'm all about quantity.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

'Just did a couple of laps around the pool.'

'Remember, kids never over inflate your water wings.'

'Dang! Six more hours.'

'Stand back.'

Reserve Ants

'I'm coping.'

'Let's see what's on the war channel...'

'Tele-barketer.'

'Dang.'

Bachelor Cake

'Slow and hurl.'

'Hey, would you mind stirring your Ovaltine somewhere else?!'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

'Just so long as it doesn't lead to Math tests in church.'

'Will you be dining alone tonight, Sir?'

Personal Ads: '...Men seeking anything that will stay still long enough.'

Virtual reality mirror.