End Of Bachelorhood Gifts

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Surfing the daily stress

The University Cricket Match - a sketch at Lord's.

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

'Sorry about this, but I really need a rug for my bachelor pad.'

Day one, post grad

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'He's majoring in cave hydrology with, obviously, the ultimate aim of being a caveman like his Dad.'

'...Please stop the...'

'He's done well considering he was just a part-time summer intern.'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'One advantage of living through the plagues and wars of the 14th century was that you didn't have to study Chaucer.'

The Maryland School of Art's Class of 1998 Celebrating This Week's Commencement With The Traditional Thesis Painting Toss.

'Kids, if I'd gotten into computers, instead of baseball, I'd have a job now!'

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

"Mom, Dad, college changed me."

"I love college."

"When you sit down, you get a shock. Open a book, you get a shock. Write something, another shock. It's a typical psychology class."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"That's the problem today. Everyone expects the same old standardized answers."

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

'As a bachelor I have to wash my own clothes, clean my own room. The do it all again three months later.'

Man's evolution to the Strip club.

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"

'I'm majoring in political science and minoring in ballet - I want to be a spin doctor.'

'Sigh - Yes, I will probably be dying alone.'

"All those years studying mayhem. All that postgraduate work in looting and pillaging; and here I am, rowing the friggin' boat."

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'