Baby Talker Gifts

"I tried living in the past... but there was nothing there!"

First Word

'This is the crib phone. You have the wrong extension.'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

Cry babies.

Mozart's First Movement - Baby Mozart is sitting on the potty.

Catching Jeffrey To Change His Diaper.

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'The child is very illogical'

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Same old same old. How about you?"

'Can you tell me what I've written? I can't read!'

"He's such a fussy eater."

Mother Nature

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

'I'm not too sure about that.'

"Oh,oh - here comes quality time again."

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

Baby tells other Baby to call.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Study her closely...the laughing eyes, the dimpled smile...she's got 'em right where she wants 'em."

"They're born into captivity, it's all they know."

"You go out first. Signal me if it's safe!!"

'So this is goodbye then!'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"