Baby Prepper Pillows

"The nursery is almost finished."

"What else is there to do to pass the time of day in here??"

'Mom, I now know the biological reason we're pregnant for 9 months. It takes at least that long to get used to the idea of being a parent.'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'BEEP! BEEP! Pregnant Lady Reversing!...'

"Which one's yours?"

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

Preparing for a new arrival

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

'I'm afraid we don't deliver on Sundays.'

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

She Had Enough To Drink.

Fire Assembly Point

"This isn't just about the wolf anymore, is it?"

"It would be unwise to attend an interview without doing any preparation in advance.

Safe harbour

"Ned is getting ready for the oceans to rise."

In case of fire call yourself.

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."

"Just two more outfits. . .Then I'll jump."

'Lower.No,lower. A way lower. - Under the arms.Under the arms! Around his chest! OK listen...- Do you want to learn the Heimlich manoeuvre or not?!!!'

'I like to puree before I crunch the numbers.'

'It's the plumber ... '

'I want to be ready when the sea level rises!'

Lamaze. I'm sorry, no, we' don't offer any "Gifted Fetus" programs.

101 Placenta Recipes

Please take a number...

"No fair! How come Baldo gets his class schedule before school starts?"

'I brought some props into the living room to help Connor get mentally prepared for going back to school next week,'