Baby On Board Gifts

Express Check-out: Two babies or less

"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

Batman at the Maternity Ward

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

Cry babies.

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Pool attached to child's bed.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Late night teddy reading

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Swinging on a star.

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Rolled-up sleeves, no coat, loose tie...it's my casual confrontational look."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

"They're so adorable at that age!"

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

A mother and baby elephant

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

The born comedian - 'I'm only two days old and already I'm using great one liners!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"Happy St Patrick’s Day"

The No No No's

Twenty-first century baby walker

"This is daring, but I like it."