Baby On The Way Gifts

"Nine months till delivery. Still, I hear it's quicker than most postal deliveries these days!"

Thirty thousand? I thought you wanted ten thousand? I'm having triplets!

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

"They grow up so fast."

'I told you it would be useful.'

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Twenty-first century baby walker

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Will you be putting her in day care or bringing her up artisanally?"

'She's just great with the children.'

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Are you pregnant? How do you know? You look terrible!'

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."