Baby Milestone Tracker Gifts

"Not to alarm you, but the other newborns are already ahead."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

'At lone at last.'

'Baby's first two-step.'

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

A family trying to make a child smile for a photo

His first conspiracy theory...'Is it a coincidence the first time I walk, they start locking all the cupboards? I think not!'

First Steps

"What do you think is a good step goal for someone who's just started walking?"

"No, it's still just a thirst for spaghettios."

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'He's my personal potty trainer.'

Eagle parenting.

"Charles, look! He’s sending his first text!"

"Birth, bed, bath, beer, bankruptcy, bifocals, balding and beyond."

'Jimmy made his first blog post today.'

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

'How old? He's 14 months, 3 days, 7 hours and 16 seconds... 17... 18...'

"I'm too old for baby limas."

"Honey, your head's through the armhole again."

"And we're just so proud you're walking to school alone. Aren't we, Harold?"

Baby's first horror movies

'Look, he's taking his first steps.'

'Her first telekinesis!'

'Look daddy,look! I'm exactly 3 feet tall!' (a child foot getting measured for height).

'Look Mummy: I've pu on my shell all by myself...'