Baby Joker Pillows

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

'Mom says she has a souffl

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"A little under done?"

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'...I thought Einstein had a theory on 'relatives'...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

'Those aren't sprinkles! they're FLEAS!!!! 'I made it from scratch.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"He takes after your mother"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded