Baby Joker Pillows

'He's allergic to talc! You'll have to give up the baby!'

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

". . . So that's 4 birdies, 1 eagle, 2 ferrets and a rabbit!"

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Don't pretend you're sleeping."

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"A little under done?"

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

"One more question, Mr Cake. How do you feel about wearing a sheet, creeping about people's bedrooms and saying 'woo'?"

'Mummy, why did you teach me to walk?'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"'Bring Your Dad to School Day' was so embarrassing Mum! Why didn't you warn my teacher that Dad is a hugger?"!

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'