Sibling Joker Pillows

'She's been awake for an hour but I think her brain is still sleeping!'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Polygamists' Picnic

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

Bathroom Fairy

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

'Mom says she has a souffl

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

"It's magically delicious...especially when you sprinkle...Halloween candy on it!"

'I thought this was a documentary about animal cruelty.'

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

"I have to say, sleeping in a coffin is way better since I got the box spring."

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

Olympics create interest in curling.

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"He takes after your mother"

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"'Bring Your Dad to School Day' was so embarrassing Mum! Why didn't you warn my teacher that Dad is a hugger?"!

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'