Joker Brother Pillows

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Photobooth Photobomb

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Father and son with matching beer crates.

'Mom says she has a souffl

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

"He takes after your mother"

'He looks exactly like his father!'

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"It was you, Jason. Dr. Karnes had it authenticated."

'Russell, it's not necessary to take the goldfish out for a walk.'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"'Bring Your Dad to School Day' was so embarrassing Mum! Why didn't you warn my teacher that Dad is a hugger?"!