Joker Brother Pillows

'What do you mean you can't find the key?'

'I don't know what 'peer pressure' is, but it makes a GREAT excuse!'

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Get crazy once in a while

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Harry?... Is that you?"

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"No more tickling Daddy for awhile, 'kay Puddin?'"

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Photobooth Photobomb

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

'Mom says she has a souffl

'...I thought Einstein had a theory on 'relatives'...'

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

'It turned out great except for Fido!'

"I'm afraid Dad did not leave us anything of value in his will, but his last wish is for us to continue the feud with the neighbour's cat...

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

'Are you sure this is where you buried your Daddy?'

'He looks exactly like his father!'

"He takes after your mother"

'In a slight change to the programme, the second year jazz quartet aren't playing 'Hello Dolly'. They are however playing truant!'

"Sure you can see my report card but I'll have to charge you for shipping and handling."

"You put your family in with the aluminum cans again, Mrs. Price."

'You brought me a drink last night Dad.I reckon it's MY round tonight!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded