Dad Joker Pillows

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

Father's Day.

'Dad, try to catch some jellyfish to go with my peanut butter.'

Father's Day

"Spoiler Alert!"

Cry babies.

"Someday she'll solve the world's problems."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Get crazy once in a while

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

'So far I've found out the doctor had something to do with it.'

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

"Look, honey, I got dinner on line!"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

"I love my new tie! I'll wear it to work tomorrow." "The report'll be done shortly." "Excellent!"

'Want to freak her out? Stare over her shoulder without blinking for 10 minutes.'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

Hammer and chisel discussing what they've been doing, chisel says; 'Oh you know, getting into a few scrapes.'

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Never pick a fight with a comedian.

Father and son with matching beer crates.

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

'Mom says she has a souffl

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"It's a dependent!"

'Your father's a genius kids. First he discovered fire and now marshmallows.'

"Grandmom told me "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach." I told her that has medical malpractice written all over it!"

"I'm an only child...unless you count my dad."

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

'Son, you can cancel your plans to backpack across Europe after graduation. See? Your father put up the old pup tent instead!'