Baby Food Connoisseur Gifts

'Strained Carrots Again? What am I being punished for this time?'

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

"Trail mix?"

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

Full English Breakfast.

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

"Regular service or affected?"

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Future Wrestler

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

"Serves you right...snacking before dinner."