Baby Delivery Tales Gifts

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

Cry babies.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

Baby Hairstyles.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

Maternity Ward

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

'Guess who's teething?'

"Which one is yours?"

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

Mime Baby

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"Which one's yours?"

Open other end

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"