Baby Delivery Tales Gifts

'Kid, would you please keep your head down! I can't see where I'm going...'

Cry babies.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I guess mother and baby are doing fine. She's already sending out selfies.'

'I'm keeping a scrap book. All I've got so far is one umbilical cord.'

'Well, well, well. It wasn't a 12 lb baby after all. It was a six pound one pumping iron.'

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

Push Push Push: sign on maternity ward doors.

'Grandma, does the hospital charge by the pound when people have babies?'

Baby Hairstyles.

"That is one absorbent nappy."

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Yeah, I'm still scared of it too, but the worst part is that it seems to be GROWING...."

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"On no, the baby's breach!!"

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

Maternity Ward

'Hurry up: We've sprung a leak!'

Mime Baby

"Why, Mr. Larsen! We were about ready to give up on you."

'Guess who's teething?'

'Fellas, I have a bit of an emergency! My wife is in labor! Mind if we play through?'

"Which one is yours?"

"After the whole history of human evolution, you'd have thought a bigger birth canal would have developed!"

Open other end

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"Underwater Childbirth Ward."

"Congratulations! It's a pain in the ass."

"Which one's yours?"

'I'm afraid we can't deliver your baby until your CRB check comes through.'

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

Clown Delivering Babies.

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"