Awkward Encounter Gifts

'En-counter'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"But he's no longer with us."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

Meeting Melanie's parents suddenly turns awkward.

'...and bring a friend. If you have one...'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

The originator of the office birthday party.

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

'No Daddy. I didn't say that my new boyfriend was a porn dealer. I said he was a pawn broker '

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

'Well, well, if it isn't Ted Watt in the flesh!'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'The golf balls you found by the lake are hatching.'

"I asked her if she wanted to go to dinner. She said yes and then she went to dinner."