Awkward Encounter Raconteur Gifts

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"But he's no longer with us."

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

The originator of the office birthday party.

'En-counter'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

"Come along now, you've got nothing I haven't seen before."

"So, Carol tells me you're a baby."

'Mom, who are all these people?' 'I invited all the people you've friended on-line.'

'I see you everyday and never talk to you. But I'm making an effort to change for the better, so I won't be standing here tomorrow.'

Travis Walton - Fire in the Sky

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"