Awkward Encounter Survivor Gifts

'Let's go somewhere noisy, where we can't talk.'

'You have two of the most beautiful legs in the world. I counted them.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"But he's no longer with us."

Livin' the dream

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

'Have you noticed it, too?'

'...in conclusion, we're in the wrong meeting room.'

'I've never felt like this on a first date, Tom, you're suffocating me.'

'Hi, I'm Sheldon, and I want to speak to you about perception management!'

'En-counter'

'Boy...it can be awkward meeting the parents for the first time.'

The originator of the office birthday party.

"Why, Ed Phillips! I haven't seen you since our divorce!"

"Just don't be yourself."

'Sorry. I'm having a headache this weekend.'

"Goodbye and have a wonderful day!" "Ugh! Don’t tell me what to do, okay!?!"

"Play coy if you like, but no one can resist a perfectly symmetrical face."

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

'Our eyes met across a crowded room, and she called the cops.'

"Ah, I'd give it a few minutes, pal. Maybe light a match."

'Is there any particular reason your middle name is stinky?'

'While we didn't see Bill Brewster here in his lifetime, it's good to see him here in death. Uh, let me rephrase that.'

"Janet, we have to stop meeting like this. It has become a source of increasing friction in my marriage to Elizabeth."