Awkward Acquaintance Gifts

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Honestly, I didn't know your wife was in the shower."

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

"Ma'am, why don't you go ahead of me?" "Um... no thanks. Let's let this gentleman go ahead of us." "Oh, no... you ladies go right ahead!"

"Of course I have a little weekend shell in the country..."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"I like them. They hate the same things we do."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

'The three essentials for any wine are terroir, the producer and how envious it makes your guests.'

Whilst browsing in his local flea market, Jimmy has an awkward encounter with an ex.

Town Hall Meeting.

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

Hugs and knucklebumps don't mix.

'Maybe you need to practice walking.'

'I should warn you, I charge double if you want me to examine both of them, Mrs. Jacobs.'

'As long as I stand here I'm safe. . . no stress. . . no pressure. . . no need to impress. . . I can just relax and be who I am. . .'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Turtle Blind dates

"And then, having shaped up, he shipped out."

"Ask me anything you want about Water Cress!"

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'Boy, this is a no-nonsense kind of place, isn't it?'

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

'Don't look now but it's that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped,'

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"Drop by the next time you're in the eighties."

"But he's no longer with us."

"Have I ever hugged you, Elkins?"

'Stop worrying, he said he's bring his new friend he's met recently.'

"How the hell are you?"

"No politics or religion. This party’s MYOB — Mind Your Own Business."