Awkward Date Navigator T-Shirts

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

'He's my dating coach. Don't worry, you'll get used to him after a few hours.'

Kinsey's first survey.

"Well, I guess if breathing through your mouth has kept you alive this far..."

"I'd invite you in, but my crap is all over the place."

Squeamish, eh? I like that in a woman.

"My Mum will be down in a minute, she is just looking for her teeth."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

The Reaper's Arms

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

In Desperate Straits.

"Here's something for all you animal lovers out there..."

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Go about a foot and take a right, then it's the second left, no, no ... the third left, then straight …"

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"The sign said 'No Shoes, No Service.' This could be a long wait."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"Whisky? Have you got anything stronger?"

''What say we knock off early tonight and go to a microbrewery?'

'I'm tired of all the small talk.'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"I told you it was too soon to give him The Talk."

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

'This is the last time I'm going fishing with you, Harold!'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"