Date Night Navigator T-Shirts

Trapeze artist with very long arms

'Son, you just got your first credit card and you're going on a date. My advice: keep it in your pants.'

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

He was a nerd. But he was her nerd.

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

Would madam like me to send over the sympathy steward?

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

A Sandbar piles of sand in a bar enjoying their night out

"I don't know 'where I've been all of your life', but wherever it was, I wish I was there now!"

"I'm floating in pure vodka; feel free to dip your glass in if you'd like."

'I can't sleep. I'm too awake.'

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'The gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you an aphrodisiac.'

'The blond guy is a forward and the other guy is a wing.'

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

'Don't even think about it!'

Club insecurity.

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'Your place or mine? Both. You go to your place and I'll go to mine!'

"I love college."

'That guy is SO tacky.'

'Oh, no! The monster under my bed is my brother!'

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

"I can't cook, but I can pay."

"It's a jolly drinking song but I can't make it past the first few bars."

Animals looking at a map of the crops on a farm.

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

Lonely Hearts Dating Agency - "Mmm he's a bit of a dish."

'You've had enough!'