Awkward Date T-Shirts

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'm sure you're a nice man, but I'm not interested in hearing your plan for a flat tax."

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

'This is the last time I'm going fishing with you, Harold!'

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

In Desperate Straits.

'Eloise! Come back! I was just going to show you some of the equipment we use in veterinary school...'

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Oh, for butter curls on ice!"

"Don't you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do."

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

Sorry, I don't play footsie on the first date. Neither do I. I guess that leaves rats.

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

'When it comes to romance, Sherlock doesn't have a clue!'

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

'Huge waves, loose shorts and a body like a gourd. I was never going to make it through summer without a serious privacy breach.'

'What happens when your little sister misses her toy money?'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

Man wearing t-shirt with "As seen" slogan

Nethead strip: Dates

"Only one Valentines card? Still could have been a lot worse!"

"Some people think accountants are just boring number crunchers but statistics show that 43% of 456 people covering 56% of the total demographic were 67% sure that we're really a lot of fun!"

"Well, I guess if breathing through your mouth has kept you alive this far..."

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

'I had a wonderful evening, Oswald but this wasn't it,I'm afraid!'

"Your eyes are like limpid pools. Allergies hitting you pretty bad, huh?"

"So this is what we call a 'red flag'..."