Awkward Date Navigators T-Shirts

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

The Reaper's Arms

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"You like long walks in electrical storms too? Wow! We get a charge out of the same things."

In Desperate Straits.

Honey are you in the mood to fleece a cow tonight

"So yeah - This is my ideal first date."

"Here's something for all you animal lovers out there..."

'He's narrating it, I just know it.'

"Your profile didn't mention you being a chewer."

'Are you ready to be patronised yet?'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

'Pardon?'

"I guess your reputation for tipping has preceded you!"

"The sign said 'No Shoes, No Service.' This could be a long wait."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

We've been dating for about 30 minutes, so things are still going well. Please send over the waiter immediately, before everything goes down the toilet. Menu.

"You're not working as a crossing guard now, Brenda."

'It's our first date. You don't know me well enough to ask if I'm getting enough fiber.'

"If it's all the same to you, Kevin, I'd like to continue observing the six-foot-rule."

"Try and stop me if you’ve heard this one before …"

'You two will have lots in common - you share the same anxiety neurosis.'

"Come on, you can be honest with me, have you had some work done?"

Nethead strip: Dates

"Thanks for a lovely evening, fancy coming in for some nitrous oxide?"

"Well, I guess if breathing through your mouth has kept you alive this far..."

"Oh my god. She knows I schist my plants.

'This is the last time I'm going fishing with you, Harold!'

"I rub my body with animal fat and swim around Manhattan."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"Maybe we should go to my place after all!"