Award Ceremony Host Gifts

"Whoa...look at the rack on her!"

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Win - win

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

Jungle Games

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

Oscars 2024

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

Oscars

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"I want to thank all the little people."

Dolphin wins the swimming competition.

'Congratulations on winning Weather Forecaster of the Year, you rotten swine!'

Oscar Victory

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

Theodore Roosevelt wins the Nobel Peace Prize.

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"This goes to our Most Aggressive Defender and, ironicall, first person ever to foul out of an awards banquet..."

Base chapel.

A woman bows to the crowd

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"But most of all I'd like to thank the zeitgeist."

"This ought to bring in the young demographic!"

The Oscars