Attending An Award Ceremony Gifts

"Aren't you ready yet?"

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

'And this year's 'Inquisitive Learner Award' goes to...'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

Win - win

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

'Nine national treasures in one film! Start writing your Oscar speech, darling.'

Employee of the Month

'And now I'd like to name this month's recipient of the Dumbest Global E-mail Award...'

Jungle Games

"Ladies and gentlemen, I simply can't believe that I've won this award. I keep wanting to pinch myself."

On the cusp of winning the Nobel, Bernie gets exposed by his third grade handwriting teacher.

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Oscars 2024

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

"And the award for Best Product Placement in a Domestic or Foreign Film goes to..."

Barbie Oscars

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"Are you sure he tested negative?"

'...well you say you're Stephen Hawking but as Eddie Redmayne said he was going to turn up in character we're not too sure."

Oscars acceptance speech.

"The idiots don't realise that flying in a private jet is meant to be IRONIC!"

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

Teacher of the Year: "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

"I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Oscars

"First, I'd like to thank everyone who believed in me."

Using the skill of pottery to make athletics trophy.

"I want to thank all the little people."

'And I would like to thank all those people who helped me write this book...'