Avid News Reader Gifts

Gun Control Legislation

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

TV vs Reading

'Go and fish Darling, I'll be fine: I have some reading for the next few weeks...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'Nothing's happened today-read it dead slowly.'

Virginia Foxx Caricature

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

The Subtitle

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

Quite literary.

"Look Mommy, reserves!"

'Looks like a case of Reader's Indigestion. How long were you in our waiting room?'

'Oh look, Harold! It's the first Robin of spring!'

Your Luggage

Your library book is overdue.

Shop manager drives digger to remove persistent magazine readers

Fiona Bruce

Harold Pinter

"Must you insist on reading like that?!"

Read this book! It will never be a motion picture or even a made for TV movie.

Bookmobile.