Avid Reviewer Gifts

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"It's just one bad review and we all know who wrote it."

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

The Music Critic.

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

The Critic...

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

"How was the play!"

"Writing that book was a real strain."

TV vs Reading

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

'Go and fish Darling, I'll be fine: I have some reading for the next few weeks...'

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

"You call that a suit?"

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

The Subtitle

Quite literary.

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."