Avid Reviewer Gifts

"The jury was too distracted to concentrate, so I've found a more focused, enthusiastic bunch...12 Amazon reviewers."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

The Music Critic.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

"What did I think about the play? About an hour too long!"

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'Go and fish Darling, I'll be fine: I have some reading for the next few weeks...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"How was the play!"

"Failure is definitely the best teacher, but I'm thinking auditing a class with Success might not hurt."

The Critic...

"I don't mind if something's Shakespearean, just as long as it it's not Shakespeare."

TV vs Reading

"You call that a suit?"

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

The Subtitle

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

"Take away his brilliant prose, and he's just some depressed guy."

Quite literary.