Avid Hunter Gifts

Hunting - 'A poor man, Father of a family, offers his services to you'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

'I love it here. It really floats my boat.'

Dickens & Tolstoy Walk into a Bar: " . . . so, to make a short story long . . . "

Beware of the crafty Kia bird of New Zealand.

Old Lady in shoe driving a footie (sock) car.

"Gifted class, indeed! One is gifted in science, but can't rad - one is fixed in reading, but won't even try math..."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

"Mrs. Berg calls my book report a finely crafted debut and she looks forward to my next effort."

"Did you ask for the large print edition?"

Death comes to both the Archbishop and the Salesman in Venice

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

"I'd like an aisle seat, please."

TV vs Reading

'Go and fish Darling, I'll be fine: I have some reading for the next few weeks...'

The Subtitle

"Oh, that reminds me of this article I barely remember."

Quite literary.

"Houston - we are landing in the crater now. . . on first viewing, this planet looks uninhabited. . ."

Curiosity discovers life on Mars

"There was this thing in the sky, and they shot me with this dart, and I couldn't move, and they did some experiments and then they left! I swear!!"

That looks like a golf ball.

"Hoping to find a Picasso at a garage sale isn't a solid retirement plan."

Enemies of the Earth

Your Luggage

"So obvious, there all the time"

"Look Mommy, reserves!"

'Looks like a case of Reader's Indigestion. How long were you in our waiting room?'

Your library book is overdue.

Leap of Faith

Shop manager drives digger to remove persistent magazine readers

The Seven Habits of Highly Obsessively Compulsive People

Bookmobile.

Harold Pinter