Aviation Security Personnel Gifts

Hi Jack! - Plane passengers confuse greeting.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Servicemen.

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Privacy Conference Security

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

"The club scene is really changing."

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

Private Viewing

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Birds on the wing

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"