Aviation Security Personnel Gifts

Hi Jack! - Plane passengers confuse greeting.

Servicemen.

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Where was the TSA?'

Airport Security.

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Dogs stealing cat food - Vice Squad orders 'Stay!'

Privacy Conference Security

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"So, how was your day at work, Dear?"

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

A Little Extra

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"He wanted a heavily decorated cake for his birthday."

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

"The club scene is really changing."

Graffiti on guard's horse

Private Viewing

'Says here you can tear phonebooks in half? Well, security could use a man like you in our shredding department!'

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'If you'll excuse me, my car is on fire.'

Birds on the wing

"The security scanner said I have exquisite feet."

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

Party-Crashing Ban

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"His name? It's 'Reggie the Drug-Sniffing Dog.'"

Giving Up a Little Privacy

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."