Avian Artist Gifts

'Everything is a competition with that guy.'

Bird Watcher's Club of America

Man trying to take pictures of wild birds at feeder.

Pencil Peaock

"I got a beak job."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

So you're a mocking bird...

Birds reading over woman's shoulder

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

Bird Torture.

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

bird interprets modern art

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

'I think he's lonely.'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

Tidy it up for the open house, and it wouldn't hurt to put out some freshly regurgitated worms. For sale.

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Why doesn't birdie go soaring on high like other birds?

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Never Again." (bird sitting on a giant egg).

'You had better eat those intestinal organs or there's no dessert for you!'

'It may well be nesting J.T but damn it, you've got a company to turn.'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

'The workday comes to an end at the Audubon Society.'

Caliologist

"One word from you when the wife gets home and you're next Sunday's roast!"