Avian Art Fan Gifts

bird interprets modern art

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

"Do me next."

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

So you're a mocking bird...

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Bird Torture.

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Wanted For Bird Watching: Reward

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Pharaoh Cocoon

"Yes, go and play, but be careful, there are a few thermals around: make sure you're not lifted too high..."

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'I think he's lonely.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"I'd like a partridge in a pear tree, 2 turtle doves, 3 French hens, 4 calling birds and 7 swans a swimming."

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"....H....5....N...1...???You got me.... but I'm sure it spells trouble."

Steven had a sneaky suspicion that the local birds were beginning to rely upon here.

Bird about to dive from diving board into birdbath

"Do you think the birds like me?"