Auto Industry Commentator Gifts

Green Car

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

'Nice smile.'

VW scandal

"I've solved our chip shortage."

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

Disoriented while talking on his cell phone, Pat made a series of wrong turns in the unfamiliar office park.

A Youtube video explained what I've been sensing for years: The auto industry is about to implode. It's going so well. But the average incentive per car is soaring. That means they're trying harder and harder to maintain sales. I saw another video that explains why: More and more people are leasing cars, because the lizard people have put fluoride in the water. Just 'cause one Youtube channel's legit, doesn't mean they all are. NASA's in on it too.

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

I don't know why, but I never seem to win the close races.

What Hi-fi. What Camera. What Car.

Bailout for General Motors.

"I just discovered where the company's money is going. Since when did we start paying our employees?"

'This baby can do zero to sixty in four seconds flat!!'

Driving a Lemon.

'We're completely computerized. Just tell us what you want and I'll tell you if it's suitable for you.'

'The brakes have gone, body's shot to bits and it leaks, Are you still giving ?2000 trade in on your old model'

"Dear, what the name of that company I'm the CEO of again?"

"Cash for clunkers 2.0"

Used Car Lot, one car with driver's airbag, another with driver's gumshield

"The color of my car? The manufacturer called it Autumn Chestnut Sable, but now it's more like Meatloaf Gravy Beige."

'Around here, Fenwick, we always use the word, 'remember' instead of 'recall'.'

'Quick, Henson - seal the exits, call the police and get a pathologist in here to determine the exact time he left the payroll!'

Autos. We can't keep these beauties on the lot! They sell that fast? No, they have defective parking brakes. Consumer Info.

"No, that's not a typo. This baby actually gets eight gallons per mile."

"Look Baldo, I know I'm your 'boss'...but nothing has really 'changed'."

Chrysler.

The new Ford Magneto boasts 87 mpg on the highway.

Volkswagen emissions

"With this car Mister, the girls will find you irresistible"

"I don’t get it, Jenkins. What are they getting right about employee morale over at the toy factory that we here at JG & Sons Puppy Coffins are getting wrong?"

'Into the final furlong and still 'Morning Star' holds the lead...'

Car sales.

Hummer Hell

'We've decided to relocate you to our office in the Far East, where you'll work in sweatshop conditions for a pittance.'