Auto Industry Follower Gifts

Used Car Lot, one car with driver's airbag, another with driver's gumshield

"The color of my car? The manufacturer called it Autumn Chestnut Sable, but now it's more like Meatloaf Gravy Beige."

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

Once upon a time and a half. Buick and the Beast.

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

"Can I talk to someone who knows something?"

"This baby gets such horrible miles per gallon, you actually save on gas because nobody can afford to drive it!"

"I hope you don't mind, but I stuck in a little prayer for General Motors."

Look, Oog and Whonk just invented the intersection.

Nice park. . .

General Motors.

"You have $3,098 in the bank? I'm impressed! So...do you think about investing it?"

VW scandal

A man drives a car with the word "LAWYER" painted backwards on the front hood so that it can be read in the rear-view mirrors of other cars.

"I've solved our chip shortage."

Stimulus bust

The average taxpayer will ultimately embrace the auto industry bailout. Hell, we sold em all that useless undercoating for all these years!

'Nice smile.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

What Hi-fi. What Camera. What Car.

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

A Youtube video explained what I've been sensing for years: The auto industry is about to implode. It's going so well. But the average incentive per car is soaring. That means they're trying harder and harder to maintain sales. I saw another video that explains why: More and more people are leasing cars, because the lizard people have put fluoride in the water. Just 'cause one Youtube channel's legit, doesn't mean they all are. NASA's in on it too.

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

'It's ok, sir, we'll put you in touch with one of our grief counselors.'

'Apparently she looks stunning naked'

Car dealers free hotdogs - "The best I can do is mustard and relish, ketchup and onions are optional."

"You seem like just the kind of guy who would be right at home in one of these fjord explorers."

"I decided to invest in precious metals - I bought a new car."