Auto Engineers Gifts

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

'My electric car is giving me static!'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Driverless cars rage.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

"We'll get there when we get there!"

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'According to the diagnostic computer, your problems are due to El Nino.'

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

CLEAR!

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'I tell you what: If it weren't for the headrest, I would have serious whiplash right now...'

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"We located the hissing noise, Mr. Watkins. Your wife's mother is in the back seat."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

'You got clowns in your engine. That's what's making them funny noises.'

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Nothing serious - just some twenties stuck in your crankshaft."

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

"It took a lot of work to build this car..."

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

"2 for 1 special: Clean, polish, buff, seal"

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

"Whether they are his first words or not - E.V.'s do not make that sound!"

Is this for wiping greasy hands?