Car Engineer Gifts

"Still won't start?"

"Your bill comes to forty-eight dollars more than we estimated, because that little black thing with a lot of wires going into it needed fixing."

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

'Frankly the only Cheap way of getting rid of the knocking from the engine is to turn up the volume on the radio.'

'Drive carefully, honey!'

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

"Off hand, I'd say your bumpy ride is due to your tires, but just to be sure, I'll run a bunch of computer diagnostics."

Driverless cars rage.

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Wow. Totaled. Teen Test Dummy.

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Tell Mrs. Pomeroy we've found the source of that strange hint of musk."

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

"If I were a surgeon, Mr. Ferguson, which I ain't, and your car was my patient, which it ain't—except that it is, in a funny sort of way; that is, if you want to look at it like that; you know what I mean—and you was her husband, I'd have to say, 'Sir, your wife is going to need a valve job.,"

'Take us to your crash test facilities. We're here to liberate our compatriots!'

'They don't make cars like they used to.'

"We'll get there when we get there!"

No caption (A crash test dummy in the shape of a bird flies toward a window. Other birds dressed as scientists study the experiment from the ground).

Turmoil change.

The less popular 'Even Smarter Car'.

'I'm sorry, but I don't know anything about external combustion engines.'

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

The tinman was hoping his wife liked the new muffler he bought her.

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Have you had a stressful experience lately, such as an accident?"

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"Whether they are his first words or not - E.V.'s do not make that sound!"

"Perfect."

"Seriously Dad, it totally wasn't my fault."

Computer Controlled Car

Darn it - Every time I try to text, my smart car pulls to the side of the road.

"Well, my paycheck barely pays the bills, I might need a second job, my wife is on my case, and my dad's in the hospital."

Animals are smarter than we think!