Auto Care Professional T-Shirts

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

Demonic Repossession.

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

Electric car

Professor Freely's new alternative fuel source did have its drawbacks.

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

Natural gas

A world choked with people mindlessly on the move

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

"It's worse than I thought."

"Tesla's founder Elon Musk launched his spacex rocket today with a successful pinpoint return to earth. . . General motors said it would rebuild its plant and start again from scratch."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

'I have fixed your car. That other whining sound is your husband checking over my bill.'

Peak oil and the limited future of petrol cars.

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

Your big end has gone

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'