Auto Care Professional Pillows

'I'm after a longer dipstick. This one doesn't reach the oil anymore.'

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'Wilbur took really, really good care of his car.'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

Demonic Repossession.

Volkswagen Scandal

Electric car

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

General Motors.

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

Professor Freely's new alternative fuel source did have its drawbacks.

Natural gas

The American Nightmare.

"The problem is there's no engine. Just a mysterious plot device."

A world choked with people mindlessly on the move

"Tesla's founder Elon Musk launched his spacex rocket today with a successful pinpoint return to earth. . . General motors said it would rebuild its plant and start again from scratch."

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

"It's worse than I thought."

'There goes the squeak in your brakes, Mrs. Ferguson.'

"Often, it's sullen and withdrawn, and then, suddenly, it becomes hostile and vengeful."

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"Our smart car sent a text saying it went to the car wash to get all the winter salt off it. Did it also have to say because I was too lazy to do it?"

'Things are going from bad to worse in the auto industry.'

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

'Don't tell me to watch my language! You give me this sort of quote, I'll give you this sort of quote!'

'I have fixed your car. That other whining sound is your husband checking over my bill.'

Your big end has gone

Peak oil and the limited future of petrol cars.

OBSOLETE: Any state of the art vehicle you bought last week for mega bucks.

Amino acid. Shampoo with amino acid, I said, not battery acid.

'D.N.A. tests show that the fuel pump doesn't belong to this car.'

"When you're done here can you look at my laptop?"

NASCAR TIRE CHANGE