Auditory Science Gifts

"Oh, this. It emits a high pitched sound only consultants can hear."

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"Tinnitus?"

"The subwoofers really help."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

"My next witness is his Google Assistant."

"Come up and purr in her other ear... she likes the surround sound."

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

'They want your underwear.'

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

'I think I'm going deaf - I can't hear the horse whisperer.'

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

Health news - hearing loss is irrelevant.

'The cow mooed, the pig oinked, the chicken clucked, I baaed and then we adjourned.'

Missing. Last seen with.

Speaker Farmer.

"You're hearing is fine. It's the noise-canceling headphones that are the problem."

Trust Your Doctor

Here's your problem. You have an iPod.

'Your hearing aid is on back order five months. In the meantime, pass these out to your family, friends and co-workers.'

'I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears.'

'Sorry, what was that?'

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

'The acoustics in here are terrible!' (two warped acoustic guitars).

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

Ear specialist uses sign to communicate with hearing impaired patient.

Dr. Cohencho: Eyes, Ears, Nose & Throat