Acoustic Scientist Gifts

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

Artist and Musician

"Tong!"

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Tinnitus?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

E=Emcee Squared

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

I play the guitar. Deal with it.

Library Grand Opening

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

The Gong

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

Playing dustbins