Acoustic Scientist Gifts

You're new here. Pretty soon you won't even hear the white noise.

'I'm going to drag my sled up and down the sidewalk until the noise drives nature crazy and it snows.'

Future garbage truck driver.

"The doctor thinks I need a hearing something or other."

'... and the winner for 'The Noisiest Picture of the Year' is...'

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

"Tong!"

Artist and Musician

Do you suppose this is art or science?

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

"Tinnitus?"

E=Emcee Squared

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

'You haven't heard anything yet!'

'Don't forget to take your tranquilizers Daddy, little Jimmy is coming round to play.'

Sir Patrick Moore.

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

'They want your underwear.'

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Older lady to husband surrounded by dogs: 'Still getting feedback from your hearing aid?'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

"Threatening to call the Noise Abatement Society isn't being very romantic, Sydney."

Leaf-Blowers: Loudly making yardwork someone else's problem since the 1960s.

Ralph Stanley

Library Grand Opening

I play the guitar. Deal with it.

A question you can't ask at a football game - 'Has anyone lost their keys?'

"Vuuuuuuuuuuu!"

The Gong

'I don't know which health issue should concern me more - the voices in my head or the fact that I need a hearing aid to hear them.'

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

"The sea waves on my sound machine are attracting a following."