Audio Guide Fan T-Shirts

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

Gramaphone Man.

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

'Are we ready to order?'

"Circumstances being what they are, I've redesigned the logo."

The Cud Food Guide

Terry Wogan

'Tickets, please.'

A bendy-cow.

Bus has destination that reads, 'Oblivion'.

Cultchah!

On the buses...I stopped off for a beer and back rub.

The Fantasy Train

City Bus...Leave the driving to us!

Pubic transport

The Real Mario Brothers, "OK princess, we don't climb ladders, we don't jump platforms, and there's a $70 call-out fee"

'Our food has the top Michelin rating.' - 'The guide or the tyre?'

Omnibus conductor refering to foreign passengers as 'a couple more Leicester Squares'

"And now, our newest hit song..."

'Oh, the magic carpets are just for backup.'

Have you tried eating soup on a high speed train?"

Hi Fi

Wow. Is your heartbeat in stereo? It's actually beyond stereo, doctor. You should get yourself a quadrophonic stethoscope!

Giant Crossword out of Window.

"People usually see the Virgin Mary in a piece of toast or something' but..."

"The disc jockeys creep me out, but you can't deny that they play great music..."