Audio Guide Fan Pillows

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

'Good luck, everyone! Maybe this will be the year somebody finishes the race!'

"At this time I'd like to welcome our gold-medallion passengers on board."

Viola, cello, 1st violin and 2nd violin vending machine.

Cave Paintings Audio Guide

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

"When I said I wanted socks, I obviously meant I wanted a multi-room sound system with voice activated management."

Gramaphone Man.

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

"Now that's what I call a sound system."

'He's got a lot of talent and everything, but I just don't think he's cut out for talk radio.'

'Are we ready to order?'

The Cud Food Guide

"Circumstances being what they are, I've redesigned the logo."

'Tickets, please.'

A bendy-cow.

Bus has destination that reads, 'Oblivion'.

Cultchah!

On the buses...I stopped off for a beer and back rub.

Pubic transport

The Real Mario Brothers, "OK princess, we don't climb ladders, we don't jump platforms, and there's a $70 call-out fee"

City Bus...Leave the driving to us!

The Fantasy Train

Omnibus conductor refering to foreign passengers as 'a couple more Leicester Squares'

"And now, our newest hit song..."

'Oh, the magic carpets are just for backup.'

Have you tried eating soup on a high speed train?"

Hi Fi

Giant Crossword out of Window.

Confidence.

'What the heck ever happened to all the great polka bands.'

"...and if you see anything that 'Isn't Right' on the platform please contact the station staff..."