Attention-span Conqueror Gifts

"Your challenge is to present our complex project to people that have an 11 second attention span."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Likes: $2.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It helps me stay focused."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

Mentioning 'Sex'

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

Media Whore Raceway.

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

"It screams, 'I'm bold, proud, and require ample sun protection.'"

"The baby is one thing - but how does the plant get more likes than me?"