Attention Span Warrior Gifts

'I wish you'd pay a little attention.'

'Are you paying attention?! It seems like every thing I text goes in one eye and out the other.'

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Wrestling Our Inner Demons

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It helps me stay focused."

"Kids, look at the weather! Why don't you play outside?"

"This is Jim's second speech on how not to make people mad by talking on your phone. I missed his first speech."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

Facebook's business model

Down with Negativism!

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

"Are you listening to me?"

"How long do you think it'll take before he realizes I took his phone away?"

"What do you mean you're staying in with a good book?"

'Don't you know too much TV is bad for your eyes...and your morals, attention span, intelligence...'

"It's a new tweet from our teacher. She wants us to turn off our phones."

"Your challenge is to present our complex project to people that have an 11 second attention span."

"He got laid off six months ago. Been pounding the pavement ever since."

"I'm prescribing stronger glasses for you, and I recommend a neck brace for your smartphone use."

You've been staring at that screen all day. Why don't you do something else?

School for the Blind and School for the Inattentive.

'Thank you for calling the attention deficit disorder hotline. . . please continue to hold. . .'

"I get lot's of exercise, computer football, computer cricket and computer rugby."

"My teacher says to tell you I'm having trouble with my ears. Everything goes in one and out the other."

'It's about your son's low attention span,,,'

"The hardest thing about being a youth pastor is keeping my sermons to 140 characters or less."