Attention Span Challenger Gifts

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

You Skimmed My Tweet

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Likes: $2.

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'I've got it written down...'

"How on earth do you get this blasted box to open...?"

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

'The cannon will go off every 20 minutes just to make sure you're paying attention,'

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"It helps me stay focused."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"That Melinda Alvarez thinks she's so smart! Well, I've been studying, and I'm gonna teach her a lesson on the test we have today!"

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

Mentioning 'Sex'

'I have your MRI results. Half your brain is clogged with passwords and the other half is clogged with user names.'

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"Thanks, I'll write that down."