Attention Span Strugglers Gifts

"In conclusion, J.D. Salinger's 'The Catcher in the Rye' is a commentary on the injustices and problems of society, especially pertaining to the isolation of individuals."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Likes: $2.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It helps me stay focused."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

Mentioning 'Sex'

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

The End of the Worker Bees

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

Attention surplus

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

"The baby is one thing - but how does the plant get more likes than me?"

"It screams, 'I'm bold, proud, and require ample sun protection.'"

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.