Attention-span Conqueror Pillows

"Your challenge is to present our complex project to people that have an 11 second attention span."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Likes: $2.

'Technically, I was making fun of your writing ability.'

"I'm trying to Google what I was thinking about twenty minutes ago!"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

A baseball player is too busy checking his smartphone to catch a ball.

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

I read on Candorville.com that was rank 29,705th in the world when it comes to attention spans. What? Aren't there only 196 countries? The article didn't just include human countries. It included the various animal kingdoms and the plant republics. Did you know that Americans have an eight-second attention span ... but the goldfish who live in little Lionel Brown's aquarium kingdom at 1492 MLK Way in Candorville have a nine-second attention span? Are you sure you weren't reading a humor column?

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"Looting and plundering! Looting and plundering! There must be more to life!...."

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

"It helps me stay focused."

"Are you one of these youngsters who has a very short attention span?"

"Let's get the important stuff out of the way while I'm still paying attention."

Mentioning 'Sex'

"It's not for you, it's for the paparazzi."

'Boy that Donna BUGS me! Every party she goes to, she ALWAYS has to make a grand entrance!'

The universe that has me at the center of it is my kind of universe!

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"Let's go someplace else. There are no paparazzi here."

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

"Yes, we see you, Tom... but could you hold your comments until the end of the meeting?"

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

'If I never get my 15 minutes of fame, I at least want a giant cutout face of myself.'

Media Whore Raceway.

"All the world's gotta do is look at me once, and I'll tap dance until I die."

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

'Son, your teacher told me that you're having trouble focusing and other things that I zoned out on...'

"It screams, 'I'm bold, proud, and require ample sun protection.'"

One person's word balloon goes in one ear and out the other of the other person's ears.