Athletic Comedy Fans Gifts

'This should be interesting.'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

'He's maturing early.'

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"How should we divide the teams?"

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'He's gonna dunk on me. I just know it.'

The best goalie in the world!

"Fancy dyeing your hair white so everyone could see it was you who played a shocker!"

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

The Cricketer and the Golfer

'Five seconds! ...Four ...Three ...Two ...One ...SPRING!!'

Golfers forming the raising the flag on Iwo Jima.

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Focus! Focus! You've just gotta' forget about their home ground advantage.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

Accident-Prone Support Group.

T-Rex Racing: A Short-Lived Sport

Golf escape.

"Twenty seven shots, first hole. I think we'll call that a dodo."

Discus accidents.

The Puck Stops Here.

Foam finger gets stuck up a foam nose.

'Wanna play? We need another body... er... one more player.'

"I feel like I play better on clay."

Old basketball players never die. . . they just pick and roll.

'While Dewey distracts the defense, the quarterback simply jogs into the end zone untouched.'

False starts.

'Listen,kid, you're going to have to lower your standards if you ever want to throw the sleazeball.'

"Kill the third base umpire."

'Now, Perkins, hit my ball straight down the fairway for about 300 yards.'

"Sweetie, I know we missed Princesses on Ice, but I'm going to make it up to you."

"Stay back. I don't know what he's got, but I'm afraid it's catching."