Athlete Performance Pundit Gifts

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

Pete Sampras

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

"How should we divide the teams?"

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'We went generic. The players' salaries are affordable.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

Pole jumper about to land on a giant whoopi cushion.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

Football Violence

"May I remind you that I'm still in charge here, Baskin. And when I say, 'Jump,' you say, 'How many floors.'"

'Just one criticism of you review of last night's opening play - you omitted to mention that the theatre burnt down while you were supposed to be there!'

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also beating the spread."

10 reasons why cricket is not a real sport.

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Mudville

Old soldiers never die. They just become TV pundits.

Some line managers like to use graphs in performance management meetings.

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

'You got a problem with that call? Do ya, Coach? Well I call 'em the way I see 'em!'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

'Wow, that's the worst case of tennis elbow I've seen this year!'

In the end, neither was the winner. . . both tested positive to a banned substance!!

'Nothing against you, Dad, but I'd rather be a POLITICAL pundit.'

Pierre de Coubertin - Founder of the Modern Olympics

'Well, there's something you don't see every day.'

Sanna Marin party

'I always wanted to sleep with the star of the game.'

Boris Johnson Loses

"Why is this quarterback still playing?"

Drugs and Sports

'It isn't football hooliganism, it's a cultural clash.'