Sports Pundit Gifts

Mudville

"What happened, honey? Was your team defeated again?"

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"In me pocket, son!"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

Where does it all end up?

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Obama Healthcare.

'At the sales department, we've got to meet our performance targets. We're not here to care about reality.'

'It's cheaper than gas.'

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Display of political memoirs books categorized as: 'Non-fiction,' 'Fiction,' and 'Pure Fantasy'.

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

Torturing the English Language