Sports Punditry Lover Gifts

'Good point, but I still say Capello's uncompromising approach will lift the squad out of the McClaren era...'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right - maybe I do have a concussion.

Pole Vault Rules

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

"Lord Stanley's Cup...and Bailey"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

'He gets confused switching channels between the World series and NFL games.'

"Remember—we're not Eagles fans or Patriots fans. We're Tom Brady Somehow Gets Humiliated fans."

Football heads...

Punishment for the kicker.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Footballer kicking his own brain.

'And remember...no sudden moves in the shoot out.'

Audacity of Hope.

Glenn Hoddle

'...And Timmy, as usual, will guard goal.'

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

Captain Ahab and Moby Dick in Retirement

Ski Surfing

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

'Please open your mouth and say '68, 56, 87, ..'

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

Dominique Valera - The King/Cat

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Of course my main concern is how the situation in Eastern Europe will affect the pennant race."

Mudville

Free Speech has heavy price.

"Just to set the record straight, I'm leaving you because you never turn your body to the net, you don't have a smooth swing, and because your forehand, backhand, and volley are inadequate!"

The only drug this league tests positive for is Geritol.